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Grief and Loss

Is It Grief or Depression? How to Tell the Difference

When you’re grieving, you might find yourself wondering whether what you’re experiencing is normal grief or something more concerning like depression. As a counsellor in Beaconsfield, I’m often asked this question, and it’s an important one. The truth is, grief and depression can look similar, but there are some key differences that can help you understand what you’re experiencing.

Grief tends to come in waves. You might have moments of intense sadness followed by periods where you feel relatively okay, perhaps even able to laugh or enjoy something. These feelings often relate directly to your loss, triggered by memories, places, or significant dates. With grief, you can usually still connect with others and find moments of comfort, even if they’re fleeting.

Depression, on the other hand, often feels more constant and pervasive. It’s like a heavy blanket that colours everything grey. With depression, you might struggle to find pleasure in anything, feel persistently worthless, and find it difficult to imagine things improving. The sadness isn’t necessarily connected to specific triggers but rather feels like an ongoing state of being.

There are some important signs that your grief might have developed into depression. If you’re experiencing persistent feelings of worthlessness or guilt unrelated to your loss, thoughts of harming yourself, or an inability to function in daily life for an extended period, these are signals that you might benefit from professional support.

It’s also important to know that grief and depression aren’t mutually exclusive. You can experience both simultaneously. Sometimes, the stress and emotional toll of grief can trigger depression, particularly if you have a history of mental health challenges. This doesn’t mean you’re failing at grieving or that there’s something wrong with you. It simply means you need additional support.

The timeline can also offer clues. Whilst grief has no set schedule, if you’re finding that months have passed and you’re feeling worse rather than gradually adjusting to your loss, or if you’re unable to engage with life in any meaningful way, it might be worth exploring whether depression has taken hold.

If you’re uncertain about what you’re experiencing, please don’t try to navigate this alone. As a counsellor specialising in grief and depression, I can help you understand your feelings and provide appropriate support. Whether you’re experiencing grief, depression, or both, there are ways to help you cope and move forward. Please get in touch for an initial consultation where we can explore what you’re experiencing and discuss how best to support you during this difficult time.

Categories
Grief and Loss

What to Expect in the First Weeks of Grief After a Death

The first weeks after losing someone you love can feel like moving through thick fog. Nothing feels real, time becomes strange, and you might find yourself going through the motions without truly comprehending what’s happened. As a counsellor in Beaconsfield, I want you to know that what you’re experiencing is a normal response to an extraordinary situation.

In those early days and weeks, you might notice your body and mind responding in unexpected ways. Some people describe feeling numb, as though they’re watching their own life from a distance. Others experience waves of intense emotion that seem to come from nowhere. You might find yourself functioning perfectly well one moment, only to be overcome with grief the next. This is your mind’s way of protecting you, allowing you to process the loss gradually rather than all at once.

Physical symptoms are also common during this time. You might struggle with sleep, either finding it impossible to rest or wanting to sleep constantly. Your appetite may disappear, or you might find yourself eating without really tasting food. Exhaustion, headaches, and a general sense of heaviness are all normal responses to grief. Your body is working hard to process this loss, even when you’re not consciously thinking about it.

The practicalities of death can feel overwhelming. There are arrangements to make, people to notify, decisions to be made. You might find yourself moving through these tasks on autopilot, which is perfectly okay. Many people later say they can’t remember much about these early weeks, and that’s a normal part of how we cope with trauma and loss.

It’s important to know that there’s no right way to grieve. Some people want to be surrounded by others, whilst some need solitude. Some find comfort in talking about their loved one, whilst others prefer quiet reflection. All of these responses are valid.

Be gentle with yourself during this time. Accept help when it’s offered, even if that just means someone bringing you a meal or sitting quietly with you. Try to maintain basic self-care, even if it’s just having a shower or eating something small. These acts of care matter, even when they feel insignificant.

If you’re in the Beaconsfield area and finding these first weeks particularly difficult, please know that support is available. As a counsellor experienced in supporting people through early grief, I offer a compassionate space where you can process your feelings without judgment. Please get in touch for an initial consultation. You don’t have to navigate this alone.