"I laughed at my grandmother's funeral. Am I a terrible person?"

This is a question I've heard more than once in my counselling practice in Beaconsfield. The answer, unequivocally, is no. Laughter amid sorrow is not only normal, but it can also be a powerful tool for healing.

Grief is a complex, multifaceted emotion. It's not just sadness; it's a rollercoaster of feelings that can include anger, guilt, relief, and yes, even moments of joy and laughter. These moments of levity don't diminish your loss or your love for the person who's gone. Instead, they're a testament to the human spirit's resilience and our innate need to find light even in the darkest times.

But why does humour often emerge when we're grieving?

Laughter, in essence, is a release valve. It helps us process difficult emotions and provides a momentary respite from the weight of our sorrow. It's a way of reconnecting with life and joy, even as we navigate loss. Humour can also be a way of celebrating the person we've lost, remembering the funny moments and quirks that made them uniquely themselves.

Consider this: have you ever found yourself chuckling at a memory of your loved one during a quiet moment? Or sharing a joke they would have loved with family members? These are all ways that humour naturally intertwines with our grief.

Of course, it's important to note that humour in grief is deeply personal. What one person finds comforting might be painful for another. It's crucial to be sensitive to others' feelings and to give yourself permission to experience grief in your own way.

So, how can we embrace humour in our grief journey?

Allow yourself to laugh without guilt. Remember, it doesn't mean you're 'over it' or that you don't care.

Share funny stories and memories of your loved one. This can be a beautiful way to keep their spirit alive.

Watch a comedy or read a humorous book. Sometimes, external sources of laughter can provide much-needed relief.

Be open to moments of joy. They might catch you by surprise, and that's okay.

Remember, there's no 'right' way to grieve. If laughter comes naturally to you in your mourning process, embrace it. If it doesn't, that's okay too. The most important thing is to be gentle with yourself and to allow your emotions to flow naturally.

If you're struggling with feelings of guilt over moments of laughter in your grief, or if you're finding it hard to access any moments of joy, please know that support is available. As a counsellor specialising in grief support, I'm here to help you navigate these complex emotions and find healthy ways to process your loss.

Grief is a journey, and it's one that can include tears and laughter, often side by side. By embracing all aspects of this journey, including those unexpected moments of humour, we honour our loved ones and our own healing process. After all, as the saying goes, "Laughter is the sun that drives winter from the human face." Even in the winter of grief, don't be afraid to let a little sunshine in.