When someone we care about is grieving, it's natural to want to help, but it can be challenging to know exactly what to do or say. As a counsellor in Beaconsfield, I've seen how powerful supportive friendships can be during times of loss, but I've also witnessed well-meaning gestures that unintentionally cause more hurt. If you're looking to support a grieving friend, you're already taking a compassionate step. Let's explore some do's and don'ts to help you navigate this delicate situation.

Do

Be present. Sometimes, the most comforting thing you can do is simply be there. Your presence alone can be a source of comfort.

Listen without judgment. Allow your friend to express their feelings freely, even if they're not what you expect.

Offer specific help. Instead of saying "Let me know if you need anything," try "I'm going to the shop, what can I pick up for you?"

Remember important dates. Anniversaries, birthdays, and holidays can be particularly difficult. Mark these dates and reach out.

Use the name of the person who died. Many grieving people find comfort in hearing their loved one's name and knowing they're remembered.

Be patient. Grief doesn't have a timeline. Your friend may need support for longer than you might expect.

Don't

Try to fix it. Grief isn't a problem to be solved, it's an experience to be lived through.

Use platitudes. Phrases like "They're in a better place" or "Everything happens for a reason" often aren't helpful.

Compare losses. Even if you've experienced a similar loss, everyone's grief is unique.

Avoid the topic. Don't be afraid to talk about the person who died. Your friend is likely thinking about them anyway.

Push your friend to "move on" or "get over it". Grief is a process, not something to be rushed.

Take it personally if your friend needs space. Sometimes, people need time alone to process their feelings.

Remember, supporting a grieving friend is about being there for them in whatever way they need. It's okay if you don't always know what to say or do. Your genuine care and willingness to support them are what matter most.

If you're finding it challenging to support your grieving friend, or if you're concerned about their wellbeing, don't hesitate to reach out for professional guidance. As a counsellor specialising in grief support in Beaconsfield, I'm here to help both those who are grieving and those supporting them. Together, we can ensure that your friend feels supported and understood during this difficult time.