When you experience pregnancy loss, certain dates on the calendar can feel particularly heavy. As a counsellor in Beaconsfield, I've supported many individuals and couples as they navigate these challenging milestones. If you're facing difficult dates after pregnancy loss, know that your feelings are valid and that there are ways to approach these times with compassion for yourself.

Difficult dates might include the anniversary of your loss, your due date, Mother's Day or Father's Day, or dates that mark what would have been your baby's milestones. These occasions can trigger intense emotions, sometimes catching you off guard even when you thought you were coping well. You might find yourself experiencing renewed grief, anger, sadness, or a profound sense of emptiness.

It's important to understand that these reactions are entirely normal. Anniversaries and significant dates have a way of bringing grief to the surface, even when we've been managing day to day. This doesn't mean you're not healing or moving forward. It simply means that your loss matters and deserves to be acknowledged.

There are ways to approach difficult dates that might help you navigate them more gently. Planning ahead can be helpful, as it gives you a sense of control during a time that might otherwise feel overwhelming. Consider what would feel most supportive for you. Some people prefer to mark the day with a meaningful ritual, such as lighting a candle, visiting a special place, or planting something in memory of their baby.

Others find it helpful to spend the day with understanding friends or family members who can offer support. Alternatively, you might prefer quiet time alone or with your partner to process your emotions privately. There's no right way to manage these dates, only what feels right for you.

Be prepared for the fact that difficult dates might be harder than expected. Give yourself permission to feel whatever comes up, whether that's sadness, anger, or even unexpected relief when the day has passed. Consider planning something gentle and nurturing for yourself, whether that's a favourite meal, time in nature, or simply allowing yourself to rest.

If you're finding it particularly difficult to cope with these milestone dates, or if the grief feels overwhelming, please reach out for support. As a counsellor specialising in pregnancy loss and grief, I'm here to help you navigate these challenging times and find ways to honour your loss while taking care of yourself. Together, we can explore strategies that feel right for you and your unique grief journey.